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How Third Parties Thwart Sales

Copyright 1997 by Marvin "The Marketeer" Walker

The prospective buyer is drooling all over the colt you have such high hopes for and is making "put him in the trailer" noises while reaching for his checkbook. The sale is progressing better than your wildest dreams. You are a second from turning toward the house to get the paperwork started. You are so certain the colt is sold you mentally start spending the money.

Then suddenly, the sale unravels at your feet. The prospective buyer gets into his truck and starts it up. You stand there holding the colt's leadline, numbly watching the empty trailer bounce down your driveway. A question arises that will harass you for some time to come, "It was going so well! What went wrong?"

You relive the events of the failed sale over in your mind trying to discover what went wrong. After all, he was willing to buy, you were willing to sell. Yet there was no sale. You examine everything you did and everything he did. You are unable to discover what went wrong where.

It's quite possible neither of you were responsible for the deal turning sour. Failed sales are more likely to be the result of "third parties"; those individuals present who have little or no financial stake in the outcome of the sale. 95% of failed horse sales involve one or more "third parties".

All horse sales are adversarial situations - the buyer wants to get the horse for the lowest price and the seller wants to get the most he can for the horse. Add to that, the subconscious pressure our culture puts on us to be a smart "horse trader" and it's easy to see why a prospective buyer/seller seldom arrives at the sale alone. There is safety in numbers.

EVERYONE in the vicinity of the sale, other than the person actually selling the horse and the person actually paying for the horse, is a third party. A third party is a parent, friend, instructor, or anyone acquainted with the buyer or seller. If there is one buyer, one seller, and four other people, there are four third parties.

The buyer truly believes Best Friend/Riding Guru/(?) is only along for company and moral support. Likewise, the seller truly believes Son/Daughter/Neighbor/(?) is only along for company and moral support. If pressed, both seller and buyer insist the decisions will be theirs alone. This is rarely the case. The third party will become an active participant, and often the decision maker, in the sale.

The invitation to come along (for company and/or moral support) actually encourages a third party to become actively involved in the sale. The third party reasons, either consciously or subconsciously, "Why am I here if they don't want my opinion?" And, because he/she almost always know the person they came with very well, the third party usually knows exactly what to say to influence the outcome one way or the other. If the extra parties are for the deal, they work towards the completion of the deal. If they are against it, they work against it.

A third party operates on the sidelines largely unnoticed by the sale principals. Since the sale is subconsciously viewed as an adversarial situation by both seller and buyer, they concentrate on each other. You, as the seller, may not even be aware the third party is influencing the sale because you are concentrating on the buyer while trying to present your horse as favorably as possible. After all, few third parties allow the seller to overhear their comments. And because he is concentrating on you, the buyer may not be aware everything his third party says, or does, is influencing his actions.

Suppose your prospective buyer has Western Pleasure leanings and his third party has an affinity for Hunter Jumpers. The third party will find all kinds of things wrong with your stock horse and will negatively influence the sale because the horse does not conform to HIS preferences.

The prospective buyer will subconsciously pick up on any cues from his third party, even when he is not looking at him. The slightest shake of the head, the slightest roll of the eyes, the slightest sign of indifference or impatience from the third party will come across to the prospective buyer as a sale 'stop sign'. The prospective buyer then has be assured it is safe to proceed. The buyer will look to his third party first. If he finds no indication it is all right to continue, there is no sale.

Your third party can sabotage a deal just as easily as the buyer's third party. When someone opens their mouth you have no idea what may come out. The less mouths present at a sale, the easier it is to control what is said. If your third party volunteers, "Why, he can even jump! When he bolted with Rupert Yantz last month, he cleared every fence he came to." you are going to be hard pressed to get over the hurdle the remark will cause. You can talk all day about how Rupert was intoxicated and leaped on the horse in the pasture with neither halter or saddle, and how the horse had never been mounted before then, but the damage will be done.

A man drove up to a Florida farm and asked if there were any horses for sale. He was shown the only horse for sale on the place. A price was settled on and he asked the seller if she would take half then and the balance in two weeks. Just as she started to agree, her daughter led the seller's favorite mare out of the barn. "How much for that one?" he asked.

"Not for sale." she replied as her daughter leaped onto the haltered mare and raced her bareback around the barn yard.

After a few moments of dazzling turns, stops and other maneuvers, he asks again. "How much?" He is again told the mare is not for sale. He responds, "Okay, have a nice day." and gets in his car and drives off.

Selling a horse is an emotional experience for all involved. The more people involved in the sale the more emotions involved. If your third parties have a lot of warm memories tied up in the horse they are hard pressed to objectively promote the sale. Just as limiting the amount of possibly damaging remarks and actions is important, limiting the amount of emotions in the sale is equally important.

The first thing to do when selling a horse is to develop a plan of action for dealing with third parties before setting a sale appointment. Enlist the services of your third parties by deciding exactly who is going to show and sell the horse. Assign everyone else the task of distracting the potential buyer's third parties. Have them busy themselves away from the sale area where they can keep an eye on the showing of the horse and be ready to draw any third parties away from the sale. Have your third party ready to introduce himself to the buyer's third party and invite him to come and "look around the place" or "give me some advice on how to improve my feeding system".

It is extremely important to keep the sale a "one on one" situation. This keeps the details you have to control to an absolute minimum and helps you firmly define, and keep straight, just who is the seller and who is the buyer. Both parties will be able to concentrate on the matter at hand without being distracted or directed by third parties.

There will be times when you won't be able to remove third party influence no matter how blunt you get. Some people simply won't be deterred from getting in the way. Hopefully, the only third parties you'll have to deal with are the buyer's. Your third parties will have left after exhausting all efforts to get the buyer's third parties away.

When you find yourself in a three party situation you can't seem to defuse, make the best of it by remembering how easily third parties can affect your sale and being prepared to use third parties to your advantage.

Pay close attention to each party and see if you can decide which person is really going to make the decision to buy. Listen carefully to each of them for clues as to which one is controlling the purchase. Don't be fooled into thinking the one controlling the wallet is the important person, it's the person who is controlling the direction of thought. Discover that person and sell to him or her and you will have more successful sales and you'll notice more loaded trailers going down your drive.

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